0 The second you meet and gain “permission”

Now it’s time to meet. Sometimes this is done formally, like with a handshake or knuckle bump, high-five, or even a hug if you know each other well. Sometimes a head nod is all that is needed, expected, or wanted. How is the other person responding? Do they seem willing to meet, greet and exchange a few words? 

We all make these split-second judgments. The signal you get back will not always indicate excitement or even willingness. It’s like the salesperson who receives a No and interprets the No as not forever but simply, No for just now. Move on. Each of you, also, may be in a hurry. There can be many reasons not to desire an engagement or exchange right then. 

But if you see a glint of hope, the next step is a simple greeting. You say, Hi, Hello, How ya doing? Nice to see you, or whatever. That is basically a way of saying, “Is it okay to talk for a sec?” It’s sort of like being in a store and going up to a staff member and saying, “Can I ask you a question?” Of course, you can; it’s their job to answer questions and help. What you are really checking is, “Is it alright to interrupt a few seconds?” You are checking for permission to engage. 

How you say your Hello is an art in itself, and here I would just like you to play in front of a mirror at home and say Hello in about seven different ways. Come on, do it. 


You need to be aware of your own body language and the intonation, and the way you say what you say.

Now that waiter in Paris didn’t say anything. Instead, he recognized two tourists were café hunting. He engaged with his eyes, and with a slight nod of his head, and opening of his hands as he lead us into his revere – the café. He certainly both knew his purpose – and how his behavior helped his purpose (more customers).